I haven't said anything about Maxx, nor about my feelings, nor about anything in a while. I let myself get wrapped up in these relationships and the only thing ever hurting was myself.
I miss Maxx. I guess. It's hard to miss something that feels like it never really happened. It's so easy to just let things disappear from my brain now that I never have to worry about it. I don't feel like I connect with people. This understanding stranger in my journal who strives all the time to see the good in people and love people -- I don't understand her. How was I ever that way?
Was that a facade? Am I just a judgmental person underneath? Who am I, really? My mom once asked me what happened to her sweet little girl. I guess I genuinely don't know. This is who I am now -- someone who doesn't understand or know who Jeff is, someone who listens to Brian but still feels detached and confused, someone who can only really talk to Kyle.
I can't believe K-Town knew about this journal all along. That's a funny secret to keep, creep.