Sunday, July 21, 2013

I'm sad that I miss you.  I'm sad that I still want to be with you.  Anna says i need to just sit and accept those feelings, but its hard to do when you know you should do something about them.

But I guess the point is you can't.

I wish you would think about the situation at hand and just decide what you want.  If you don't want me, really, it's fine, we could be friends.  But you have to not keep me in limbo, you have to come to a conclusion.  A No, a real no now, you can change that.  Going from a no to a yes is wonderful.  Going from a maybe to a no is terrible.  Maybe is terrible.

I love you.  I think about you a lot.  It hurts me to not talk to you.  It fucking sucks.   I hate it and I want to communicate with you freely all the time.

But then I think about how little interest you've actually shown in my thoughts, my life, me the mast few years and I don't even know what I'm doing here.

I don't even know what I'm doing here, and it hurts me so deeply inside I don't even know how to express it.

That's why I this has mattered so much.

I wish you would see me and know me enough to understand that and figure out if you do care or not instead of flipping between the two.

But I don't know.
Maybe you don't care what happens in my life.

You only care about what happens in yours.

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