Thursday, May 16, 2013

Here's another truth:

When I drew that drawing for you of the leaf and the caterpillar.  When I was drawing it, I thought, Kyle is the leaf.  I did actually think that.  Then I was too embarrassed to tell you, I was too afraid of letting that truth go.  Then you said it was cute, and I wish I had told you all along.

You are my leaf.  You make me feel protected.  You make me feel safe.  You make me feel stronger.

I don't want that to go away.  Please don't take that away.  I just want to be with you.  I want you to know how you feel for me, and to hold me again.  I keep thinking about us in sexy times, and it's terrible, and I start crying.  Because I want it so much, I keep thinking, that can't be the last time, that's unacceptable.

ugh.  i hate this.  i hate myself.

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