Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Hey

So I really appreciate when you say nice things.  I'm trying not to be paranoid-- but I genuinely get the feeling lately that you don't wanna talk to me.  I know I'm sort of out of wack here lately, it's been a long time, and you are talking less.... but I honestly can't tell.

I don't want to lose you.  I'm afraid of it.  I think I already have. I don't get your weird behavior and it's hurting me.  I just want it to be over.

You're avoiding telling me how you're feeling, avoiding telling me the truth, being distant and weird, and then saying nothing is wrong, and it's all very familiar.  I don't want it to be.  But I guess this shows that it's probably a bad idea.  I'm okay with however you want to be, and what you're feeling, but when I don't understand it and am just trying to be friendly and you don't even want to talk to me I don't know what to do.  You're my best friend.

I should just assume that everything will be okay.  I'll be back in LA soon and you'll stop being short with me.

I guess I don't understand if you're trying to distance yourself, or mad at me.  And why you're doing it.  Everything was going so great, so why just stop short?  The flirting was fun, I wasn't pressuring you, you were excited (though probably also nervous).  I love talking to you, I don't want it to stop.

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