Was it the entrance of her into the equation? I guess before I felt like I was really likely to have a chance. You seemed so happy. If it had just kept going like that, I think we both have a chance to truly be happy.
But how am I to know that you wouldn't be more happy with her. And that's what I truly want for you. I want you to have the best end result possible. I hope that it's with me. I believe that it's with me. I think that you and I compliment each other very well.
I know I put my foot in my mouth, I say a lot of stupid things. I get nervous easy. I really hope your friend liked me, and I'm sorry I misspoke in front of your cousin. The things I said were because I love you. I got carried away reciting things that I adore about the guy I know, and what he would do in a situation. I adore your laugh, the way you handle yourself, the way you move.
I know everyone sees it. I know I'm not the only one. There IS something about you.
I want to be a larger part of it. I want to curl up in your arms again, and I hope I didn't mess anything up. I know you didn't want to create more anxiety for me, and I don't want you to feel bad. I -am- more anxious, but I don't understand why I should be. I feel good every time we talk. I feel a little sad when we interact the way we did last night (no hugs, nothing, but you had a friend there... and one who talks to Her. You had your top guard on.)
I don't really care if they do like me. I still think that you and I are good together. That I care about you. That I can bring you happiness and vice versa.
But I know you care so much about her. I know you do. I hope, for you, that it doesn't hurt you. I want you. I know you want me too. I hope that isn't too confusing.
Do you see all the weird thoughts that are going through my head? Why is it like this, for me?