Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Alright, my dear.
This has to likely draw to a close.  I'm leaving Sunday, and last night your foot massage took me to heaven.  However, I want to stay with you.  I don't like being called just a friend (is that what I am?).  And I can't help but wonder if you're going to London as just friends or as a little bit more interest in there... are you about to have a week with her, like you are having with me? 

My gut instinct is to say you're not.  You wouldn't have started up cuddles with me if you were going to go to her and do the same.  However, I wonder if these cuddles are going anywhere for you.  I think they mean something to you, because you look like it, but I can't tell if we're taking it slow or if you're sort of just using me to feel better but still looking elsewhere.

I'm not.  I'm not using you.  I stopped all activity the moment you touched me again.  I want to escalate this.  I want to lay in your bed with you.  I want to kiss you.  I obviously want more, but I can wait until I return for that.  Will you let me?  May we make this something again?  So far it's been great, and the few anxieties I have are easily relieved.

I adore you so much that I am not sure how to bring it up, because I honestly don't want these things to stop.  I just want to feel it out.  But being made to leave last night brought tears to my eyes.  I was so tired, and I just wanted to lay next to you, but I didn't want to push it.  You said I wasn't being pushy.

Please, let's just be together.

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