Saturday, December 25, 2010

Long time no post.
Happy Christmas.

I am posting because I feel I should. I have wiped my hands clean of this situation, but I can't say that what has happened hasn't hurt me deeply. I don't want to have anything to do with this weird mess between the three (four) of you. I want to be as far away from it as possible. This said, I know it will haunt me in many ways.

I don't appreciate what a dick you've been. I don't appreciate how nice I am to you and how you walk all over me. I hate that I let you walk all over me-- but even though it hurts and I know what is what, saying anything is never the wisest decision. You do not owe me anything, and that is understandable. Your lack of consideration to basic social norms is ridiculous. You are acting like a child, a college student, but that is something that happens to a lot of people.

I don't know how you will feel in three months, five years, ten. I don't know how you will view me. I have a basic understanding of human psychology and the way you map things, so we will see. I hope that in your quest you will find maturity and understanding and not continue changing into a selfish ball of complication. I am not sure if that will happen or not, but I wish you luck-- because I do, still, truly want the best for you. How can I not? You were always there for me, before, before you turned into this. And I will never stop adoring you for that.

Enough is enough though. Moving on. I like some people. It's pretty awesome.
I'm actually looking forward to doing some things I haven't been able to do. My independence is stronger than ever. I am standing more on my own than ever, and while I dislike being closed off, I am blooming and I have you to thank. So thank you. It's working out for me.

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