Friday, October 22, 2010

It is 2:21 AM. I am wearing his shirt, because I felt vindictive and it is comfy. I am smelling your sweater, because I want more than anything for you to be holding me.

It is amazing how much I've grown over this last year and it is mostly in part to do with you. This "break" has had me think of these things. I know I am not perfect. But I am better.

I know I won't stay rational if you come back tomorrow and you tell me you don't want to be with me. I know my heart will break and my logic brain will mostly shut down for awhile. I had just begun to trust this.

I would like to continue trusting this. While I am nervous, standing here precariously on this branch, waiting to see if you're going to cut it off or not, I'm not crawling down. And I want to, and mostly have, faith you'll keep it going. The only thing preventing me from feeling that all the way is your hesitance.

You have taught me a lot. It is my hope that you'll teach me more, and I can help you more. I love you, even when you're not handling things right. I know better than to say you're really my 'perfect' match (except when I'm being cute), but you are... in fact, a very good match for me.

I hope you find this too, and renew your interest in me. And are cute with me. And say you think I'm perfect for you (without prompting, hah!). Because I think that I am as good for you as you are for me.

Thank you. I love you.