Thursday, September 3, 2009

It hurts more today than it did last night.

I love you, and I think what you did is the right thing.... I can't help wondering if you would have been able to grow with me, and if our love for one another would have eventually overrided your need for independence. I do think you need to be on your own more. I hope you set forth and really use this time to do what you need to do and not sit on it.

But it still hurts terribly. I want to be okay with this. I want to be able to let you go like I need to, and in a lot of ways I am. I want you to be able to grow up. I want to be able to come back together both as mature people who understand and care for one another and are ready to be committed. That, however, doesn't stop the pain right now.

I think about the things we do together and not having you as my one and only and it hurts. The girls talked about New Years, and it crushed me because while everyone else is going to have fun, I'm going to remember how it's our anniversary and we aren't together.

It sucks so much more today.

A part of me is wishing for an earthquake.

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