Saturday, August 29, 2009

That hurt a lot.

I need a place to put this. I can't tell you, because we're not talking. It hurts me to not talk to you. It sucks, because I have... I have links, and stories, and problems, and things that I want to say to you, and yet I have resisted. I know it hasn't been that long. I want to give you your space, and your time. Our relatonship has meant a lot to me, and because of that, I am keeping my distance.

So I'm sorry if commenting on your status, and saying I liked it, will be a problem.

But it did hurt.

It hurt to know you were taking your friend instead of me. I could understand that.

It hurt to know you were only five blocks away and you would refuse to see me, to call me. I'm not sure if you even thought of me, knowing that I was supposed to be your date to see Tenacious D. Knowing that I was just as excited as you to go to that concert, that I had pushed for it, that I had been excited for it...

And then for you to come home and openly say how happy it made you to go, knowing I cared so much to go with you...

it hurt.

It hurt because I know you care about me, but I'm not sure what this means. I hurt because I love you, and because I'm feeling so many emotions that I'm trying to handle already, to have a blatant slap in the face is.... is terrible.

I poured my heart out to you, and I know I've done a lot wrong.

I'm sorry if I took away your space.


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